Over the years I've tried every lotion, potion, diet pill and diet plan but nothing seems to work. I have starved myself, energised myself, run myself into the ground but nothing seems to work. Is it time to give up and chew on a lump of wood?
Seriously, if there is any lotion, potion, diet plan or diet pill, then I have tried it. I have been there, done it and have some of the most horrendous T-shirts to show for it.
Starvation
I have starved myself to near death, starved myself for hours and persuaded the kids and my wife to follow suit. Yes, our food shopping bills have collapsed, our cupboards are bare but they have given up and left me with the wood - chewing on the wood!
The trots
Why is it that every single diet I have tried, every single diet pill I have tried and every new exercise routine I have tried gives me the trots? Yes, I am now the fittest I have ever been over the 50 yard dash up the stairs to the toilet but I feel sorry for the next person who goes in there after me!
The upset stomachs, the diarrhoea and the 50 yard dash up to the toilet are worse than the Delhi belly!
Can you liquidise wood?
You would not believe the food which I have liquidised, the food which I have pulverised into a liquid mess and poured down my throat. Everything from eggs to apples, meat to bread and just about everything else you can ever think. One thing I know now, everything seems to taste the same in a liquid form and believe me it is not nice. Oh, and your breath, oh, that is another thing for another day.
Water content is not good for you!
I have tried every fruit known to man because the vast majority of fruit is made up of water and should be the easiest thing to help me lose weight. However, the more water I drink, the large my stomach becomes, the hungrier I become and while I am losing weight rushing backwards and forwards from the toilet surely this is not how it was meant to be... or is it?
Is wood the answer?
I have come to the sad sad conclusion that the best diet ever is just to sit there, with a cup of water and a lump of wood and just chew, chew, chew until the weight drops. Yes, these diets, diet pills and everything else I have tried have broken my will to live and I just do not care anymore. I will do anything to lose this way, to regain that figure from years gone by but if I ever see another tangerine again I think I will die!
Conclusion
Joking aside, diet plans, diet potions and diet pills are plastered around the Internet and while the vast majority of them are "suspect" to say the least there are some that do actually work. However, if you have tried all the lotions and potions, plans and pills then you will relate to my experiences above!
Not every diet is the same. Is the Weightwatchers Diets the way ahead for you?
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_Benson
No comments:
Post a Comment